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Fatwas Regarding Women

In the Name of Allâh, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful

Questions Related to Supplications (Du'a)

I Supplicated but Was Not Responded To

Question: For over ten years I prayed to Allah now and then to provide me with a pious husband and pious children... However, none of that has occurred and this is what Allah has willed and there is no one to repel His Decree. My question is this: I stopped making that du'a recently, not out of despair of being answered by Allah but because I began to think that that matter was not what was best for me, given that Allah did not respond to my prayer. I decided to stop making that du'a because Allah is more knowledgeable of what would benefit me, regardless of my great desire and hope to have my prayer answered. What is obligatory upon me in this position? Shall I continue making that supplication or should I be satisfied that such a matter is not what is best for me and simply stop making that prayer?

Response: It is mentioned in the Hadith that the servant's prayer is responded to as long as he is not hasty. Hastiness has been explained as the response being slow in coming so the person gives up and stops making the dua. He then says, "I prayed and prayed but I was not responded to." Allah may delay the response to a prayer for some reasons, general or specific. In a Hadith, it is stated that the supplicant receives one of three things from Allah: Either Allah responds to the dua and gives the person what he asks, or Allah puts something in store for him for the Hereafter or Allah keeps some harm from coming to him by His Decree. Therefore, sister, do not be hasty but continue in making that supplication, even if for a number of years. Also, you should not refuse a qualified man if he asks for your hand, even if he is elderly or is already married. Perhaps Allah may give you through him a great deal of good.

Shaikh ibn Jibreen

Supplication Against One's Children

Question: Many fathers and mothers make supplications against their children when they make mistakes and err. I would like you to give some words of advise to them concerning that matter.

Response: I advise parents to be forgiving and controlling of themselves when their children, while young, have shortcomings. They should be patient with respect to the words and harm they may receive from their children. Children are not completely mature so it is always the case that they make mistakes in their speech and actions. The father can be compassionate and forgiving and can teach his child with compassion and gentleness and advise him to the point that the child accepts that from him and is changed by it. However, some parents fall into a greater mistake and that is supplicating against their children by asking for death, illness, misery and so forth to come to them. They continue making such supplications and make them often. However, after their anger is over, they realize their mistake and recognize that they don't want their supplications to be answered nor do they want any of that to happen to their children, due to their compassion and mercy for them. What led them to make such dua was their extreme anger. Allah forgives such dua, as Allah has stated,

"Were Allah to hasten for mankind the evil [they have earned] as they would hasten on the good, their respite would already be settled" (Yunus 11).

Parents must have patience and calmness. They must raise the child in the best way. The child may be beaten in a way that will keep him from what is wrong as a child is often more affected by a spanking than by teaching and moral training. Obviously, making dua against the child does not benefit the child. One does not know what to say about it. Perhaps, what is stated against the child may be recorded and the parent will not benefit at all from it. Allah knows best.

Shaikh ibn Jibreen

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